First Rule: Don’t Be Overwhelmed by Newcomers
If you are already in a dating site, it’s hard to resist if you get a wink, a smile or even an email from newcomers. It’s really exciting and it’s a good feeling I would admit. I’ve experienced that and we all no doubt have or had experienced that you keep getting interests from people while being on a dating site. It’s hard not to check their profiles and email or just respond their interest.
I would say there’s nothing wrong trying to know them, the only downside is we’re getting to the point that we are getting overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed and it took me a while to realize that I was overwhelmed. I love the feeling that a new handsome foreign guy sent me a smile and then another one sent me wink, then another one sent me a short email introducing himself. I would check those guys and sometimes even chatted with them and then many times happened that I was not intentionally ignoring my old flicks that I already chatted and exchanged emails with, but I did because I’m too excited and overwhelmed by those newcomers that currently catch my attention. That is a no-no.
I realized that it’s really time consuming and time waster to keep doing that, because I realized later on that I’m not really knowing anybody and I’m not making a real connection with anybody. I realized that I didn’t join the dating site to chat and be friend with everybody and get overwhelmed by many handsome guys. I was there to find the foreign man that I will love and I want to be in a long term relationship. From that point in time, the first rule of thumb I applied to myself is “I don’t want to be overwhelmed by newcomers.” it’s okay to check them, read their profile, but don’t be in a hurry to response them or even chat with them.
Take the time to read their profile because from doing that you might find a reason not to respond them. Ask yourself if you already have a few person that you are already checking out or chatting with or already exchanged emails with, meaning you already made a connection to them, then maybe it’s best to spend your time to know them more than jumping to response these newcomers. Being in a dating site is like you’re in a shopping mall. Are you a none-endless window shopper? You came to the mall in mind that you have a specific suit in mind, so you start shopping. Then, you start looking around and you realized that there are so many nice, wonderful suits within your liking.
First, you start at one store and then you saw something that is almost perfect for you, but because you feel that it’s not bad to do window shopping and just pick the best that you might like at the end and buy it. You check another store and another and then you turned out that you’re just checking one store to another and trying to put on every suit that you feel will fit you. Then that’s when you are unconsciously starting to be an endless window shopper, you have a goal in mind when you came in but you already forget that goal because you get overwhelmed by so many nice suit that you are seeing.
Of course, there are plenty of selections there because that’s a store, but it doesn’t mean you have to try or take them all. It’s the same in dating site, there will always be a newcomer that will show interest to you, but it doesn’t mean that you have to entertain them. If you entertain them, you will realize that you’re just spending time in checking them all out and there’s a possibility that you will come home empty handed or when you get back to the first choice or first suit that you like, the suit was already taken.
The sales rep said there is a very similar design but it’s a little smaller or there is a size that fits you but it’s a different color. Then you just decided to forget it and just come back the next day, so you come home empty handed that day and not able to achieve your goal. So guys don’t be a window shopper! It is okay to look around, but don’t spend too much time checking out every woman that pleases your eyes, instead focus on your goal, stick to your specific goal when you are in the first stage of searching for love.